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Saturday, October 10, 2009

Steps of Faith

This blog has remained dormant long enough and i think its about time its revived....
Wow... Its really been such a long time since i last wrote in here. True, i've been busy and all, but that would just be mere excuses.

The fact of the matter is that so much has happened that i don't know how to put into words what i've experienced. In this short 3 months since stepping foot in USM Kelantan, my faith has been stretched and shaken to its very core. What i thought was black and white apparently had so many shades in between. What i thought was plain and simple, wasn't as easy as it seemed.

Even making the decision to come here was an emotional turmoil in itself as i was only told that i was offered a place in biomedicine 3 days i was supposed to register. And it wasn't even the course i was hoping for. However, after alot of prayer and consultation, i decided to take the step of faith and see what God had in store for me in Kelantan and i would try my best to change course. So after making that decision, i had only a day to pack and get to Kelantan. Thank God for providing for me all along the way, he provided me transport through a friend eventhough it was last minute, and He just showed me in many lil' ways that He was there beside me.

Who knew that i would fall in love with this God-forsaken place without so much a hint of excitement or entertainment. They don't even have a cinema for crying out loud!! But surprisingly, i found myself falling in love slowly with the place. Maybe it was the simplicity of it, or maybe the people that drew me. Nonetheless, i found myself liking the place the moment i stepped foot here.

Just coming here to Kelantan has been a journey all in itself, and who knew what would come after that was to be so tough. I really don't know how to describe what has happened, and if i did, it would go on forever. But all i can say that God has been really faithful and gracious, he took care of me and sent simply amazing people along the way to lead and guide me. I can't express how truly grateful and blessed i am. CF has been a place where i have heard from Him through the songs and speakers.

I still am uncertain of the future, as i need to wait until next year to see whether i would be able to change course. It has not been easy, so many other things have happened along the way here that has tested my faith. But thank God he provided a way that i may stand up under it. Many people would not understand why i chose to take this path, even i myself don't know. But i just wanna continue to trust Him and rely on HIm that He is in control of everything. God is a God of miracles. This has song has given me strength to go on througout this time...


Mujizat itu Nyata
TAK TERBATAS KUASA-MU TUHAN
SEMUA DAPAT KAU LAKUKAN
APA YANG KELIHATAN MUSTAHIL BAGIKU
DITU SANGAT MUNGKIN BAGI-MU
DI SAAT KU TAK BERDAYA
KUASA-MU YANG SEMPURNA
KETIKA KU PERCAYA
MUJIZAT ITU NYATA
BUKAN KAR'NA KEKUATAN
NAMUN ROH-MU YA TUHAN
KETIKA KU BERDOA
MUJIZAT ITU NYATA
BRIDGE :MUJIZAT ITU DEKAT DI MULUTKU
DAN KU HIDUP OLEH PERCAYA

~ { 7:31 PM }
aiming for the sky above;

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

RaiNbow

Ever look at the sky in the evening, when the sky turns blue and grey and thinking that you missed the sunset. That all that was left of the sunset was just hues of dreary blue and grey.

Ever caught the moment before the sun sets, when all is dark & grey, when you think that there is no hope left. When suddenly there is a burst of colours that light up the sky, springing shades of orange and red across the cold blue sky.

I witnessed just that and it reminded me of the scene in Narnia. When Aslan died, everyone was filled with sadness and they thought they didn't have hope. Suddenly, when all look dim & hopeless, he rose from the dead & shoke his glorious, golden mane in the sun...

And the most amazing thing was, after i finished my usual laps around the padang, i decided to go one more last round to enjoy what was left of the beautiful sunset and something within me just told me to go another round. As i was passing the row of houses, i looked up and thought i faintly saw a rainbow. But it didn't rain if i could recall or else i wouldn't be out in the padang rite...

But as i looked again, i realised that it was not only a rainbow, but a full rainbow:) oh... that definitely made my day.. who would have expected to see a rainbow at such a time and summore when it didn't rain??

Seems as if He listens to the whispers of my heart:)


~ { 2:28 AM }
aiming for the sky above;

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Shades of Colours

I actually wrote this around easter time but didn't post it up until now thus the time lapse:)

Besides that, been having a tough time staying focused lately but today managed to regain my focus and spend time with God... Have actually been shopping around for a camera since my last one went kaput!!! And i realised how many moments i missed capturing without a camera...

Lately, i've been caught up with cameras & drawing. So, shopping around I hear lots of comments... about mega pixels, optical zoom, bla bla bla... still very confused on which to buy @_@ And in drawing, we take notice of lighting and the sorts.

suddenly as i winded down my day with a walk in the park, everything went click!! And everything seemed to fall in to place...

It never really strike me b4 that everything in creation has different shades to it. Look at trees, when u look closely at them, u'll notice that the leaves are different colours, so many different shades of green. Even the tree bark have different shades of brown on them. Then it occured to me that that is how it is with ppl, God made us all different shades of colour. Some of us are the lighter, brighter shade of colours while others maybe the darker, serious shades which all compose a picture.

But no matter what, all of us are part of a bigger picture, we are all megapixels that when combined forms a beautiful picture. Although sometimes we tend to zoom in too much that we see only a small part of the picture and all we can see are the blemishes and imperfections. However, God knows the bigger picture and we just trust that He knows best.

I had another epihany moment while sitting there. Recently my friend has been going through a tough time, and i've been trying to encourage her by saying that rainbows appear after a storm. Then suddenly i realised that we are surrounded by rainbows all the time!!! hehe.. u must be thinking how could that be?? Well, move those rusty wheels in ur head and track back when you were in science class where we learn about light and that sort. Think! think!! what happens when light goes through a prism?? Exactly!! it forms a rainbow...:)

So since we are surrounded by light all the time. Hence, we are surrounded by rainbows all the time eventhough we may not be able to see it with the naked eye. So, whenever you're having a hard time, remember that you are surrounded by rainbows. :)



~ { 8:11 AM }
aiming for the sky above;

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

~EaStEr & fAcIaL~

An embarassing thing that happened during the week - i had a once in a lifetime experience of FACIAL. My mum had been bugging me since who knows when to go for facial, and i kept canceling due to other more important matters that popped up. Unfortunately, there was no running away from it. Finally after many tries, she got me to go for facial.

And boy wass it PAINFULLLL!!! i mean i knew it would be painful and all, but i never thought it would be that painful... it was AGONIZING!!! But i thought i was being a baby, so i just endured through it without any struggling or screaming which i was so tempted to do. hehe.. even the facialist said that i very "yan tuck tong- can stand pain??":)

As i was laying there, waiting for the torture to end. I suddenly remembered that somebody else had to endure pain that was like a gazillion times more than this. I cannot possibly imagine the pain Jesus had to go through when He died on the cross for our sins. In fact, the lil' pain that i went through cannot possibly come even remotely close to the pain Jesus suffered and i'm humbled.

Well, that is how great his love is for us. God paid a high price for us and yet asks nothing in return. He loved us when we're so unworthy, yet when we were still sinners Christ died for us.


Eventhough Earth Hour has already passed, but what does Earth Hour have to do with Easter??

Well, just as Earth Hour is not just a one day event but should be something that should be practised everyday. It is the same with Easter, it is not only during Easter that we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord, but something we celebrate everyday:)

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~ { 6:27 PM }
aiming for the sky above;

Friday, March 13, 2009

~*RaiN DoWn oN mE*~

Ever since i was a little girl i had this unknown phobia of rain. I had this irrational fear that once the raindrops fall on my head, that my skin would disintegrate and my hair would fall off (i may be over exaggerating a lil' here) or i might fall sick.

Well, this lil' fear of mine could have been unknowingly implanted by my dad who always used to warn me :"Don't go out in the rain!" or "Don't let the rain touch your head or else you'll fall sick!!!" Even if it were a drizzle, he would ask me to cover my head with something so that the rain wouldn't touch my head. That is why ever since i was a little girl, i had this innate alarm in me not to let the raindrops touch my head and i would avoid going out in the rain at all cost.

Recently though, i was faced with situations where i had to face my fears. Twice i wanted to go out to my padang, however the sky didn't look at all welcoming and it threatened to rain, in fact there were already a few drops falling. Nonetheless, after all i learned in RBS to confront my fears n' all, i decided to take the chance and go out anyway eventhough it may mean getting caught in the rain and getting sick. So summoning all my courage, i ventured out of the shelter of my house and into the open air of the padang.

Surprisingly though, although it threatened to rain cats and dogs, it didn't. Imagine if i didn't take the risk of stepping out of the shelter of my home i wouldn't be able to enjoy the beautiful morning or the breath-taking sunset. I learnt also through a few experiences of getting drenched in rain, and i expected to get sick but didn't after all.

That could be due to the fact that when i was younger my dad fed me this ginseng drink that would build up my immune system. So, eventhough He did instill this phobia in me, at the same time he boosted my immune system so that i may fight whatever viruses that may come my way in the future.

And now, i'm not afraid getting rain on my head or getting caught in the rain, although i would definitely think twice about running out into the rain and dancing lar. But i no longer have a phobia of rain, and i guess i have to thank my dad for making me drink that ginseng drink to boost my immune system:)


~ { 1:39 AM }
aiming for the sky above;

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

~*Being, BeAtitudes & Brokeness*~

I'm not sure 'bout the others, but stepping back into reality is definitely hard. I felt so weird to be back home where everything seems to be the same, nothing seemed to have changed but yet I changed.Felt kinda frustrated to be feeling that way, like how come after all that we went through up on Mount Cameron, then coming down to this...

However, i wuz really encouraged by the msg that was delivered on Sunday tat wuz entitled as above. It wuz as if he summarized almost everything that we learnt throughout RBS and i wuz like whoa... hehe.. an ant even crawled across my bible at one point... i wuz even like double whoa...He even talked about Elijah, after he experience such miraculous works wanted to juz die...

And all throughout the msg tears kept rolling down my cheeks.. It wuz as if he summarized everythin' & the impact was so much gr8er b'cuz of what we went through in rbs, the whole realisation through meditation by being still & all that...haha.. i'm not sure whether i'm making any sense...

But i think i got what Jon meant about being broken... i think i wuzn't broken during my time in RBS, and that was what God was doing after it... Juz all these emotions came crashing down on me... & as Lyon's famous phrase goes: i LET Go & Let GOD. Now somehow after being "broken" after tat msg, it seems like a closure to all that i've been through in rbs, like a grand finale of the whole experience there... And i had 2 experience it after i came down of the mount...


*i took notes.. will add them in soon...:)

~ { 9:15 AM }
aiming for the sky above;

RBS '09: Tough Enough?

Many would testify to the fact that RBS is more like a Rehabilitation Centre than a school, and i totally agree:)

To answer all the unending questioners of how was RBS??

To summarize it: it wuz awesome!!! eventho that word was soooooo overused during the skl but it is definitely true b'cuz we have an AWESOME GOD :D

I definitely learnt alot during the 5 weeks there eventho i wuz separated from the outside world. hehe... It wuz a gr8 experience living on top of a mountain with 46 other ppl whom we barely knew at first, but gradually grew 2 know & lurve:)

Just a brief summary on my journey of RBS what i learnt:

ANTS enjoying His prescence Being Still

listening to His still, small voice

Spiders Spiritual Disciplines

We need 2 train our spiritual muscles run the RACE of LIFE

FriendS & Fellowship We are all royal priests Strawberry Scones

I have so many thorns in my flesh i must look like a porcupine:) Silver Lining

Stars DuRiaNs

God can work through anyone as long as we avail ourselves

ReflectionZ Prayer moves mountains RAINBOW

LiVing Intentionally



~ { 7:14 AM }
aiming for the sky above;

Sunday, January 25, 2009
Clueless...
After so long, i realised how shallow & obscure my faith really is...

~ { 9:17 AM }
aiming for the sky above;